Saturday, 23 January 2016

We Never Change!

For a few weeks before Christmas I watched a tv programmed called The Secret Life Of Children.
 The series started with two year olds and finished with six year olds. A group of children were chosen from different parts of the U.K. and brought to attend a playgroup where hidden cameras recorded their interactions with each other. Child physiologists were in another room listening, viewing and commenting on the children's behaviour.
I found the programme very interesting. It showed us how children learn how to be social at different levels of their development. Some children are naturally more advanced than others and learn quicker.   

When children are very young they can't empathise with their playmates. They only understand how they themselves feel. Some children just couldn't accept not winning or not being first and broke down in tears. During the course of the days spent in the playgroup friendships were formed. New children were then introduced to the group. Some new children were ignored but some of the children welcomed new faces excitedly and willingly.

What I've experienced in the past few months as the new face in town and my experience of life in general has drawn me to the conclusion that we are all still little kids at heart and never grow up.

In a place of work a new person starts working alongside you and your workmates for the first time. I've noticed some people welcome them and show them the ropes almost without being asked. Other people will be suspicious of this new person, worried if they give too much away the new person could end up better at the job than they are. I worked in a GP surgery and I remember that one new girl was disliked by some staff because she was too nice and too friendly with the patients. Yes and that's true!

As a newbie I have joined a few different leisure classes. Like at school most people were in little groups, cleeks we used to call them. Some have imaginary walls around them giving off vibes of "enter if you dare" All you can do is smile and say hello.

Everyone seems reluctant to be the first to welcome you, but it only takes one person. When that person breaks through the wall and holds out the hand of friendship and draws you into their group the other members also welcome you. Gradually over time the other cleeks notice you and think,
" Well if she's good enough for that group then maybe she's okay." Then one day you'll find you're excepted by everyone. Yes it's just like being back in school.

As you get older it does get harder to make new friends in a new town. Most people have a shared history. Maybe they worked together at some point or even went to the same school, know the same people. You have to find some common ground. It starts off by being the activity of the group you have joined,everyone is there for the same reason. It then has to branch out, do you read the same books, have similar taste in music, enjoy tea and cake,etc...
This was just like the older children in the tv programme. I heard them asking each other about food they liked,toys they liked etc.

As for me being the new girl in town well someone did step outside the group and welcomed me in and I'm gradually feeling like I belong.

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