Everyone has at sometime came into contact with the bully, whether it be at school or in the workplace. I was bullied by one boy at my senior school. I was bullied because, I went to church, I sang in a choir, I was a member of a drama group, I had a stammer, I was a girl. Pick any one of these and you still won't find the reason, I was bullied just because he could. I look back now and I don't know why he scared me so. He was small, significantly overweight and no one really liked him, he had his followers but their friendship was built out of fear. I eventually confided in a teacher and the bully was out of my life. I wonder what his life amounted to as an adult.
The workplace bullies think they rule, they are the queen bees. They think they have friends because no-one wants to cross them. They accept no one's point of view. That holiday you had was in a terrible resort. That restaurant you go to serves awful food, the books you read are trash. The bullies can't accept that people have their own ideas of what is good. I worked with the public and the bullies were there to look after them, did they? Of course not the public avoided them like the plague making work that bit busier for the rest of us.
Eventually one was challenged, she had brought another colleague to tears. The bully threw a strop and stormed off home never to be seen again, much to everyone's relief.
The Me Mees
Are the people you may not speak to for a few weeks or months and when you bump into them at the shops or speak to them on the phone they will ask how you are and before you have time to reply they begin their monologue about what's been happening in their life. The holiday, the kids, the house, the distant cousin twice removed, it goes on and on and when you have said goodbye you realise that you haven't spoken about your holiday, your life, in fact the mee mee you have been speaking with for the last hour hasn't even paused for breathe to notice that you've fallen asleep.
A friendship built on rocky ground, you're never quiet sure of it.
The Drama Queen.
While your week end has been spent walking the dog, cleaning the house and visiting friends, the weekend of the drama queen has been very different. She/he has visited accident and emergency, crashed the car, had a visit from the police and her house is sinking.
These stories go on week after week until eventually you realise that she/he is maybe not so much of a drama queen and more of a storyteller, they should really write a book.
A friendship built upon water, eventually you'll just drift apart.
This person will take all the help you are willing to give them. The giver gives this help through kindness and sometimes love. The taker will usually say a word of thanks but it is a throwaway word, a last minute thought. The taker thinks their life is so much more important than anyones but still doesn't realise that without all the givers their life would be so much harder.
The taker never thinks of the giver except in what more they can gain from them. Special days are forgotten about, unless of course it is theirs.
The essence is that the taker is selfish but doesn't yet realise. Eventually the giver can give no more and the friendship which is built on shifting sands moves and the taker finally realises it when the giver is giving no more.
The Don't Say much People.
I could talk for Scotland but I do like it when people talk back, it's called, having a conversation.
The, "Don't say much" people are busy texting on their mobile phones or face booking while you are talking to them, are their lives so busy that they can't give you even a little of it?
Being with people like these is a matter of asking a question and them nodding or saying yes, or no. You have to coax a conversation from them and try not to ask questions which they can answer yes or no to. It all becomes too much like a hard days work, but still you persevere, you hint that they're a bit quiet today, sometimes they start talking and then the mobile pings and you're back to square one.
These people forget to tell you even important things and then are surprised you didn't know,
"It's because you didn't bloody tell me!"
A friendship built on landmines..one day you will explode.
The Fab and the Fun
These are the people you can go without seeing for weeks, months or even years and when you meet again you just take up from where you left off. There's never any of ,"Where have you been?" or ,"You never called" you are just so happy to be in each others company and you laugh until you cry.
Many of the fab and the fun will have been in your life for years, perhaps an old school friend, a sister, a cousin, someone you once worked with, whoever it is you're bound to have some kind of shared history together and it's a bond that that years will never break.
A friendship built on firm foundations, you'd have no problems securing a mortgage for it.
In the past few years since starting my blogs and joining twitter I have made many online friends some I speak with more than others but mostly on a day to day basis. We all having something in common, a love of books and writing. Val from Watery Ways has been asking the question on her blog,
"Do you consider your online friends to be real friends?"
I would say there's about a dozen of the online friends I would like to meet. I have good conversations online with them and they would be there with advice if I needed it. I think the only reason we have not yet met is distance, most live south of the border with a few in America, New Zealand and Europe so unless I win the lottery and can afford an around the world trip we will be sticking to our conversations online.
Maybe we would see each other differently if we met face to face. Online we are all equal, we speak the same, there are no accents posh or otherwise, no one cares how we are dressed (usually in our jammies with a glass of wine) would it be the same in person, would we judge each other?
Personally I don't think we would I think we all have spoken to each other enough that we know what to expect. So anyone heading to Scotland, you know where I am.
So there you have it, some of the people who have passed through my life. I may now find out who reads my blog and thinks I'm writing about them, won't that be fun?
|Yes, she has dinosaur stickers on her face!|