Sunday, 13 May 2012

The Over Thinker

I like the quiet life. I like everyone to be happy, to respect everyones' point of view and have no arguments. My husband would say that this would only work if everyone agreed with me, but that's  because I'm usually right.

A few months ago, during what I perceived as a "family crisis" I was speaking to my daughter on the phone and wondering how she was going to handle what I had to tell her. You could have knocked me down with a feather when she said everything was "cool" and there was no problem. She continued, "Mum, your problem is that you "over think" and imagine how everyone will react  and make problems bigger than they are."



I was stunned but also relieved that she had taken what I had to tell her so well, but me, over think things, surely not?
So I did what any computer literate person would do I googled "over thinking." What I found was not good. People who suffer from this affliction can be prone to
1. exhaustion
2. frustration
3.  anxiety.

Over thinkers make simple things complex and easy things hard. It is not good for your health.
 No! this is not me, I don't do this. So I had a good think and it brought to mind a text I had from my son a while back, it asked me to look for his rucksack.
I wondered why he wanted it as his partner was due their first baby in a few weeks, surely he wasn't going camping.
I discussed this with my husband and between us we decided he was going camping with his friends and leaving the mother of his future child at home alone. We were outraged at the thought he might do this and wondered what we could say to change his mind.

Eventually I decide to do what no mother should do with their grown up children and interfere, so I texted him,
Me-  "why do u want rucksack"
Him - " for Gary"
 My son only says exactly what he has to and no more, not even a x at the end of a text which in my book is bad texting etiquette.  Yes, his friend was going camping and wanted to borrow it, now why couldn't he have said that in the first place? Crisis averted. Crisis? what crisis? The one in my head ! Is this what my daughter meant by over thinking?

I have came to the conclusion that,"over thinking" is worrying by a different name, and not a good thing to do if you want a healthy lifestyle but that's what all us mums do. It doesn't get much easier as children get older we just worry about different things. I know my mum still worried about me even when I was in my forties, it's a hazard of the job.
So, my darling daughter, if you're reading this I 'm not an over thinker, I 'm a worrier, aided and abetted by your father, of course.


What about you? Do you "overthink" things? Are you are worrier? Or are you laidback and calm about everthing? Please tell me I'm not alone.

Back in 1977 even Bob Marley was telling us "Don't worry, about a thing"

26 comments:

  1. You are definitely not alone.  My mom overthinks and I do it too (but she's WAY worse than me).  My boyfriend is frustrated w/ my worrying over stuff that hasn't happened yet.  But I like to be prepared for every contingency and I can only do that if I imagine what could happen and try to plan accordingly.  

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  2. thefeatherednest13 May 2012 at 14:29

    Who me?   Happy Mothers Day.

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  3. I'm definitely guilty - and yes especially as a Mum - but it's always been there. Great post.

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  4.  We're MOM's after all! Why shouldn't we be prepared for EVERYTHING? Isn't that what we do? 
    Happy Mothers Day ....

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  5. I too am a 'thinker' and well it just is and I've stopped admonishing myself and valuing that part of me! Happy Mother's Day!

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  6. Yes, yes, no! I over-think (although I didn't know I did until just now). I worry. I am NOT laid back. It's partly being a mother but I suspect I was something of an over-thinker even before I had children. So glad your son wasn't abandoning his almost-to-arrive child and wouldn't life be less stressful if we could put a different spin on everything!

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  7. Ha ha ! Yes it's a cross we have to bear,worrying.He doesn't even know what I was thinking and he never reads this.  Life would be so different if we didn't worry.

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  8. Hi Tracy, Happy Mother's Day to you too.

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  9. Yes, Jen, it certainly is and I'm surprised our children are surprised at it.Hope you had a lovely Mother's Day.

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  10. Thanks  Anne,I'm glad I'm not alone.

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  11. Yes, probably you too! Hope you had a lovely Mother's Day.

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  12. Hi Jojo,yes you've got it right ,it's just being prepared for whatever mmight happen,at least that's what I'm going to call it from now on.

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  13. You are SO not alone....I told my late husband when we married in 1985 that he'd never have to worry about anything, I do enough of it for both of us. My current husband (3 years) tells me I overthink things all the time.

    Oh well...it is what it is.  [giggle]

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  14. Hi Donna,I think it's my husband who encourages me to overthink or worry.

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  15. I'm the same, I over-think to extremes and get really annoyed with myself for doing it! What's worse, my dad does exactly the same and I give him into trouble for it! Lets just put it down to our writerly ways... we need our active minds! :)

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  16. You mean you HOPE he doesn't read this. I'm constantly caught unawares by how many people in my family actually do read my blog!!! Sorry, I've given you more cause to worry now, haven't I!

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  17. Ha Ha ,that'll be the day an elephant flies past my window. He's actually very very laid back so I doubt if he'd even remember it!

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  18. Hi Catherine,yes that's what I'll say it is my writerly ways!

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  19. So glad it isn't just me! I've got myself in a real tailspin today because I'm going away for a couple of days!

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  20. Great post Anne.  I'm definitely a worrier.  It's only certain things I worry about.  Some things don't bother me and I can be quite relaxed and chilled about but if I make a mistake or I think I've done something wrong I just keep over thinking things and worrying about it.  Hubby would say I over think things too.  

    xx

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  21. I am an over thinker.  I over think enough for me, my husband, my kids, my neighbors... Sadly, most things I over think, barely needed thinking on. Maybe I need to be in a group; O.T.A (Over Thinkers Anonymous).

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  22. I sometimes over think and sometimes I think too much.  When it comes to loved ones especially I tend to think about all aspects of an issue which can lead to worry.  I'm not as bad now as when my kids were younger and still lived at home.  Everyone always tends to think I'm laid back and calm, which I often am, but when my mind starts working it can really go into high gear sometimes.

    Lee
    Tossing It Out

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  23. Hi Chris , Seems like we all can't help worrying. Thanks for stopping by.

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  24. Hi Kate, yes I think everyone is guilty of over analysing things before we do them.

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  25. Hi Jennifer,Maybe we should start our own group,but then that would be something else to worry about.

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  26. Hi Arlle,I wonder if we all just like to be in control and some things in life we can't control so we worry about how they're going to go.

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